


Bitter is the Night

by eclecticlynx



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-09
Updated: 2018-08-09
Packaged: 2019-06-24 12:41:22
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,699
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15630882
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/eclecticlynx/pseuds/eclecticlynx
Summary: Not completely cannon, but the glimpse of the pain looking for your lost family.





	Bitter is the Night

The clacking of keys and occasional humming were the only sounds in the hanger. Cold blue and eerie greenish light served to emphasize the echoing space, glinting off spectacle frames and metallic walls alike. Wildly tangled, light brown hair could barely be seen peeking over the array of computer screens. A thin face seemed to float in the darkness—eyebrows knit together in concentration, whiskey colored eyes squinting at tiny figures dancing across the screens. Faintly, the sounds of knocking, and voices could be heard, but she paid it no mind. Somewhere, the answers she was seeking were hiding. She would find them…She just had to try harder…

“Dude, I think we need to get Shiro involved,” a worried voice fretted. “It’s going on 72 hours.” A boy turned to punch codes on the hanger door again, hoping this time it would open. His open, friendly face was scrunched with worry, and his yellow shirt showed signs of being wrung by nervous hands.   
“Aw, she’s probably fine, maybe even actually sleeping, and we’re disturbing her!” This was from a lean, lanky boy, who was scraping dark hair away from soulful eyes with slim fingers. He sounded doubtful, like he didn’t believe his own words.   
“Nuh-uh,” responded the first boy. “I don’t think she’s even left to eat, Lance, much less sleep in a bed.”  
“Hmmm, maybe you’re right, Hunk. I thought maybe you’d seen her on the video cams or something?” Hopeful words from the Cuban sharpshooter.  
“Nope, unless she messed with the camera, which, while I wouldn’t put it past her, I don’t this is the case. Ever since this last mission, she’d been, like, really distant and closed off.” The tall Samoan tangled his fingers into his shirt again, as if he could squeeze calmness out of the cheery fabric.  
“How could you tell?” Lance snarked. “I mean, it’s PIDGE.”  
“She hasn’t left the hanger since we got back,” a voice drawled from behind them. “I checked with the Space Mice.” The owner of the voice slouched into view, nervously rubbing gloved fingers over a sheathed blade. “I agree with Hunk. We need to let Shiro know what’s going on.”   
“Do you think she’ll listen to him?” Hunk worried aloud. “What if she doesn’t?!”  
The athletic boy in the red jacket half turned towards his friend, light gleaming in amethyst colored eyes for a moment. “Well, then that’s Shiro’s problem, isn’t it? He’s the leader.”  
Shiro had just finished yet another long meeting with Allura and Coran, and was thinking longingly about a hot shower. His shoulders ached with tension, his muscles ached from recent battle, and his head ached from trying to wrap his mind around the multitude of problems needing to be managed. Turning the corner to the hall where the team’s quarter’s were, he saw a knot of his teammates, heading right for him. For an instant, he felt himself want to crumble, to cry out “No more, please!” but he quickly mastered himself. From the expressions on the younger boys faces, it was likely important. Even if it wasn’t, he wanted them to be able to feel like they could come to him and talk about whatever was bothering them.  
“I’m sorry we’re bothering you, Shiro, but …” blurted Hunk, just as Lance stammered “Uh, Shiro, I know you’re tired…” Keith didn’t said anything, but looked worried.   
The older man put a calming hand on each of the speakers shoulders. “Hey, now, what’s this? It’s ok, you’re not bothering me. What’s up?” Hunk looked like he was about to burst into tears. Lance was nervously bouncing on the balls of his feet, and wouldn’t meet Shiro’s gaze.   
“It’s, it’s Pidge…” muttered Keith. As if his words had broken a dam, words poured from the other two.   
“She hasn’t left the hanger in three days…The mice say she hasn’t come out…I can’t get the door to open, and Allura’s still mad about the last time I took a door control apart…They say she’s not sleeping…There’s no food in there that I know of…She won’t open the door…” The torrent of words poured over Shiro, letting him know that this was definitely not a minor issue.   
Searching his memory, Shiro realized that he hadn’t actually seen the Green Paladin since their return. Granted, everyone’s schedules had been rather mixed up since then, but…this did not bode well. He knew of the pain the young girl carried, of missing and seeking her brother and father. He’d had to forcibly make her break away from her work before, by threatening to take her computers away in order to get some semblance of sleep or a meal. He’d found her at all hours, hunched over her laptop, as if she could will it into giving her family back. The circles under her brown eyes seemed to get darker every day. Considering she didn’t sleep or care for herself on anything like a standard schedule without prodding, this was really not good.  
Smoothing his face into one of calm thoughtfulness with a touch of concern, he squeeze the two boys shoulders. Glancing at Keith to include him, Shiro said evenly, “Hm, that is a bit odd! I’ll go discuss this with the Princess, and take care of it. Thank you for bringing this to me, it’s good to look after each other. Why don’t you all call it an early evening, eh?”  
With a final squeeze, he smiled, and turned to walk calmly back down the hall he had just left. He heard the relived babble of the two boys (listened to by the third, no doubt) as he headed towards the Royal Wing of the Castle Ship. As soon as he was far enough away, he broke into a run.

Fatigue pulled at her like leaden weights attached to her body. Shadows seemed to grow and loom over her, only to disappear when she turned her head. Everything seemed muffled, distant, and that was fine by her. Pausing for a moment to rub burning eyes, she thought she heard a dismayed grumble from the giant mechanical beast behind her. Pidge absently patted the huge paw she was sitting against, and muttered “I’ve almost got it, I know it. I just have to keep looking, the information has got to be there…” Adjusting headphones on her aching head, she bumped the volume up a few more decibels to drown out the shrill buzzing noise that had started a while ago. She wasn’t sure when it had started, or how long she’d been in the hanger, but it didn’t matter, really. Only finding her family did, and she’d be damned if she wasn’t going to do it.   
The Altean princess looked puzzled, and then concerned. Turning to the Space Mice she asked them “Is this true? Or perhaps the boys are mistaken?” From the effort and amount of arm waving coming from the pastel rodents, unfortunately no mistake had been made. Shiro huffed a short sigh, and rubbed the bridge of his nose, carefully avoiding the sensitive scar tissue.   
“Can you force the door open, Allura? Hunk has tried everything short of taking it apart…” the older man asked.   
“I should, and if not, well, it’s my door, now isn’t it?” came the calm response. There was a sad understanding in those shimmering turquoise eyes, of a pain too close and familiar. “Let’s check the camera first, and see where our Paladin is in the hanger.”  
The image of the hanger was a bit grainy, but the small pool of light and the smaller figure inside it stood out clearly. From the occasional movements of the top of the head, the girl was still awake, and still working furiously. A white band crossed the top of hair that even through a not-so-good picture was obviously unkempt. Shiro stabbed a finger at the band in the picture.   
“She’s got her headphones on. I bet she didn’t even hear the guys earlier…” he sighed.   
“Well, let’s go collect our wayward Green Paladin, shall we?” Allura murmured, resting a comforting hand on his. Giving it a gentle pat, she smiled and turned to walk out the door. Shiro followed the Altean, after giving a last, long glance at the tiny figure on screen.

First, they tried knocking, in the unlikely even Pidge had taken off headphones. A few minutes later, both Shiro and Allura tried every code they knew to try to open the door. The metal stubbornly refused to part, mutely resisting even the highest Altean typed command. Allura looked faintly impressed, Shiro more than a little worried.   
“Black, can Green maybe open the door?” Shiro asked, trying to maintain his calm façade. A faint negative feeling thrummed along their bond, with a confusing impression of layered letters and numbers. Turing to Allura, he shook his head.   
“Green’s not sure what she did to the door, she’s been more focused on trying to get Pidge to sleep or leave the hanger.” he reported sadly.   
A firmness settled on the Altean princess’ face. “Well then, we shall have to open it ourselves.”  
Turning to face the smooth metal doors, Allura squared her shoulders, and thought about the materials of the doors. She’d need to be bigger, and with much stronger muscles…The thought was parent to the act. Iridescent light shimmered around her body, and suddenly she grew two feet in height, and thickened considerably. Reaching out, she shoved her fingers into the seam where the doors met, and wrenched. A horrendous screeching and scraping noise, and a gap suddenly appeared. The princess adjusted her grip, and pressed the two doors apart. Bars snapped along the top and bottom, and edges peeled up. Shiro stared in awe, and gulped quietly. He slipped under her arm, and headed into the darkness of the Green Lion’s hanger.  
Even headphones and blaring music hadn’t drowned out the racket of the doors being forced open. Pidge was staring glassy eyed a the wreck of the opening when Shiro spotted her. The girl had attempted to stand, but was entangled by a myriad of electrical cords, and could only manage a half crouch. Shiro could see she was swaying, even from half a hanger away. Her face was white as a ghost, and he felt bad for a moment before steeling his resolve. Pidge could not be allowed to continue such self-destructive behavior, and it was time for her to understand that.   
Marching up to her, he looked the girl square in the face. “Well, Holt? Are you satisfied? Your actions have directly led to the damage of this ship. What do you have to say for yourself?”  
The young girls face sagged into an open-mouthed look of disbelief. She turned beet red, and her eyes stared daggers at him. “I didn’t ask you to come in here,” she hissed, voice low and raspy. “Usually, a locked door means “keep out”, even in space.” A poisonous look was leveled at the now-normal sized Altean who had walked up behind the Black Paladin. “Unless this is another bit of Altean protocol that we poor humans were not told of?”  
As much as Shiro wanted to enfold the enraged paladin in his arms, he knew he had to get the lesson across first. Leveling a cold glare at her, he snapped “During space travel, it’s in the procedures to never lock a door to the extend that NO ONE can override it, Holt. You should know that. I know your family would had discussed this kind of protocol over dinner. It’s in the Space Garrison manuals. What do you have to say for yourself?”  
Pidge flinched at the mention of her last name, and shuddered at the mention of family dinners. All the color leached from her face, only to blaze back up at his words. Strangled noises escaped from her lips before she utterly Lost. Her. Shit....It didn’t matter that her friend, and admired leader Shirogane Takashi stood before her. It didn’t matter that an ancient and powerful alien was right behind him. All the anger, pain, and wrath of a frightened, hurting fourteen year old came pouring out like pus from a lanced boil.  
“How dare you?” she spat, shaking with rage. “My family is out there, in danger, while we bop around and fight petty battles for an empire that no longer exists! I bust my ass inventing new technology, translating 10,000 year old manuals, and upgrading the Lions! I’ve learned to fight hand to hand, to shoot, to fly a fricking space lion! We’re in a war we never asked for, for people who don’t even know what Earth is, and I get to have nightmares about killing people! And you are mad, that I took some time to do the hard work of combing through hundreds of yottabytes of information that I hacked out of an alien database, to FIND MY FAMILY?!”  
“No,” Shiro said softly. “We’re upset that you wouldn’t let us help.”  
Pidge looked at him, and started to shake. Allura move slowly up to the young girl, and gently slid an arm around thin shoulders. Shudders racked the slender frame, nearly quaking the princess off her feet. “I know,” the princess murmured softly. “I know.”  
“It’s…It’s…Not…FAIIRRRRR!” The anguished scream ripped itself from the depths of the Green Paladins soul, torn from vocal cords strained from too much pain, too much hurt, too much fruitless searching. It was the same scream Allura felt, deep in the night, that awoke her to a sodden pillow. The wail that echoed in the gruesome images of Shiro’s nightmares. It didn’t seem possible for such an amount of pain to come from such a small figure.   
The young girl collapsed into Allura’s arms, gut wrenching cries shattering the quiet of the hanger. Shiro moved in to gently disentangle the paladin from the computer cords, as she wept and howled and screamed her rage at an uncaring universe. The Altean rocked her gently, tears of her own falling on tangled locks as the bitter poison was finally released from Pidge’s heart.   
What seemed like an eternity later, the screams died down to forlorn, heartbroken whimpers. Huge, hiccupping sobs shook Pidge like a leaf in winter, and her complexion was the color of skimmed milk. It had been at least twenty minutes from the last time she’d vomited. Shiro smoothed damp bangs from eyes swollen nearly completely shut, while Allura continued to gently cradle the girl.   
“’m s’rry,” she croak-whispered “’m…so…s’rry…Din’nt mean it, ‘lura, Shiro…”   
“I know you didn’t, Pidge, and I understand…” was the quiet reply from the princess.  
“Hey,” Shiro said, gently. “We’re a team…Don’t lock us out, please? You have to take care of yourself to stay healthy to find your family; we ARE going to find them, trust me. Let us help you, as you help us.”  
A weak nod and a tremulous smile were his response from the worn-out paladin. Traces of mucus and bile were still present on Pidge’s face, and her undereye circles were nearly black. A trembling hand reached out, and Shiro enfolded it in his own. Feeling the iciness, he gently chafed the clever fingers that had made such a difference to the team.   
“Are you ready to go to the med bay now?” he asked softly. “We need to make sure you didn’t cause yourself too much harm during these last few days.” The Green Paladin stiffened, then sighed and nodded, crestfallen. Exhaustion was clearly getting the better of her.  
“Ok, let’s go then,” he murmured as she attempted to stand from Allura’s gentle embrace. Pidge managed to stand upright, swaying like a sapling in spring, for a grand total of ten ticks. Unsurprisingly, she then toppled over with a quiet sigh. Allura scooped the unconscious paladin up before she could fall far, and Shiro quickly checked her pulse. A slow, but steady thump met his questing fingers, and he released a breath of comingled relief and sadness. Solemn turquoise eyes met his, as the ghost of a young girl’s wails echoed between them …


End file.
